Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Guest post from Brother Phil. Sort of.

Hmm. It's been so long since I posted, my brother, Phil, is apparently getting sick and tired of waiting and is now sending me blog post material. But then, he also sent it to Click and Clack, so I guess I'm not that special. This is his contribution (unedited by me)(I take no responsibility for this post)(except for the fact that I'm posting it)(well, it is my blog, so I suppose I have to take some responsibility)(but no credit):

Brother Phil’s Fake Movie Names

Guy movie titles make sense and involve violent action. Chick flick titles either make no sense or involve chocolate. Sometimes both.
Find the chick flick:

Metal Death
Kill the Undead
Deader Than That
Even More Dead
Mostly Dead
How Much More Dead Can You Get?
Chase Until You Kill
The Ultimate Death Machine
Car Killer Chase Sport
Steal, Cheat, Lie, Kill
Robot Sport
Ultimate Blood Sport
Spy on the Dead
Confessions of a Mafia Spy
Spy Killer
Dead Metal Action Hero
Action Killer
Killer Hero
Hero Killer
Action Hero
Cooking the Flying Rose Society
Dead Hero
Metal Hero
Ultimate Car Chase
Two Drunk Idiots Steal Cars
Gun Killer
Gun Sport
Gun Hero
Gun Metal
Metal Gun Sport
Spring Break of Death
Beach of Death
Death Robot
Electric Death Monkey

Spot the guy flick:
A Lady and a Ruffian
The Chocolate Way
You Walk Into Gabardine
She's Pregnant
With Honesty
Monday, My Mother
A Credenza With Legs
Extreme Violence
Contrary Flowers
The Sisters of The Chocolate Icing
I Met My Mother
Cause and Chocolate
A Confluence of Blouses
The Wardrobe
Fried Chocolate
A Chance Encounter of Chocolate Flowers
Socks in a Dresser Drawer
Vanilla Isn't Plain
Like Hanna, For Instance
Hats, Blue and Red
Earnest Chocolate In Summer
Rain In Love
The Chartreuse Wardrobe Society of Flying Slingbacks
The Guy Falls For The Broken Wing (A Box of Chocolates)

Movies that flopped because they tried too hard to appeal to both women and men:
Chocolate Metal
The Chocolate Chase
The Zombie Sister Society
Red Zombie Blue Zombie
Action Chocolate Zombie Racer
Quarts of Blood, Gallons of Chocolate
Killer Hero's Baby
My Zombie, My Love
Chasing, Cheating, Chocolate
A Credenza With Legs, A Dresser Full Of Heads and a Closet Full Of Zombie Torsos
The Ultimate Death Machine of the Flying Electric Monkey Sister Society
A Stroll in the Park OF DEATH
She's Having a Zombie Baby
A Mother's Heart, A Sister's Legs, A Daughter's Head and Miscellaneous Parts Make A Zombie
Robots Have Chocolate Blood
The Red Shoe of Death
A Death Monkey Diary
Zombie Wedding
Action Killer Wedding Hero
An Hour to Wed, A Day to Die
Guns in a Dresser
The Wedding Singer Killer
Perfect Heart, Rotting Soul
The Smell of Death in Springtime

Adult movies make plays on words. Children's movies appeal to a sense of family, involve animals or have the word "adventure" in the title.

Spot the adult movies:
Captain Rabbit's Secret Adventures
Robbie the Robot Rabbit
The Adventures of Abe, the Talking Donkie
Swiss Family Rabbitson
Debbie Does Donkies
Adventures in Rabbits
Nick Danger's Great Escape Adventure
Adventure Animal Family
Love Animal Style
Big Bear and the Bunny Rangers
A Bunny Family Christmas
A Playboy Bunny Christmas
Spy Family Adventure

Note from Laurie: Donkie is apparently not misspelled. If you don't know what it is, you'll have to look it up on Urban Dictionary yourself.


Hairslave 24/7 said...

Hi-larious!! But as far as I can tell "donkie" is not in the urban dictionary...

Hairslave 24/7 said...

well, I did find "donkier" which means pretty much what I would have guessed...

Brother Phil said...

Um... I confess it was a typo. I should never have set my spell checker on "never."