Saturday, January 31, 2009

A Gay Hula - part deux. In which I get really drunk and feel myself up.

I'm doing a second, hopefully happier post on David and Pete's wedding, because my last one apparently made everybody cry. These photos are much better because they were taken by a professional photographer AND they include pictures of ME!

But first an action shot of David and Pete jumping the broom: And William making David cryI wasn't too drunk yet. Only one gin and tonic.
But I soon made my way back to Surfer Willy's Tiki Hut. Oh, look. The nice photographer cut off half my butt. Always a good thing, in my opinion.
Oh. She got all of it here.This is exactly the reason I wore a slip. You never know when a shaft of sunlight might reveal all. Sort of like when I found lice on William's head. But that's another story.

Mmmm. Zombie. I actually like this photo a lot, even though I'm sticking my tongue out. In my last post, I only showed the guys dancing, but the girls got their chance, too. David and Pete got to dance both the guys AND the girls dance. Well it was their wedding.I had actually thought to myself, "Gee. I didn't get any pictures of my really cute shoes." Luckily the photographer must have thought they were really cute, too! I bet she was jealous.A male photographer would have been more focused on boobs. Especially with all the coconut bras nearby. A straight, non-transvestite male photographer, anyway. Speaking of boobs, it was right around this time that I realized my boobs had fallen out of my bra and were in imminent danger of escaping their confines completely. But it was okay, because the only way anyone would have been able to see was if they were higher up than I was. I peered blearily (hard to peer any other way after two zombies and a gin and tonic) down my dress, stuck a hand in, shifted things around and pulled the bra up on one side, then realizing how this must look, surreptitiously glanced around to see if anyone had noticed me fondling myself. Nobody was staring at me in shock and horror, so I quickly groped readjusted the other side.

This prompted another foray to Surfer Willy's. The purse is hiding my big butt. Unfortunately, it isn't hiding my back.

When I came back, I didn't realize Surfer Willy and his girlfriend followed and sat right behind me. Actually this was probably the time my boobs were making their attempt for freedom, and neither William nor his girlfriend said anything! You'd think he could have said something like, "Mom, XYB (Examine your boobs)", or "Mom, do you know your boobs are showing?" to which I would have had to reply, "No, but if you hum a few bars I can fake it." But no. He was probably just completely embarrassed that his sloshed mother was going around flashing people. I think if I had just worn coconuts it would have been less revealing. NOTE: NO I AM NOT ABOUT TO GROPE MYSELF IN THAT PHOTO. I'm reaching across to take a picture. Perverts.
Cute guys talking to David's mother Betty. Sorry girls and other guys. These outrageously cute guys are married. To each other.
Gratuitous William photos:Surfer WillyHe's going to make a great bartender some day.
William factoid: He has always exhibited more than a passing resemblance to Shaggy. For a 4-H costume contest, I once made a Scooby-do costume for his pony, Howdy, and we just put a green t-shirt on William and told him to walk like he normally does, and they won first place. We did have to draw the scraggly beard on back then. Not anymore. (He and Twister won first place the next year as Harry Potter and Fluffy the three-headed dog (William was Harry Potter. In case you were wondering). I make kick-ass horse costumes. Unfortunately it isn't really a marketable skill)

Gratuitous Buddha photos:
Buddha happy!Buddha disappointed
William giving the toast.I think William could give Bossy's son a run for his money. But I'm probably biased.
David and Pete toasted with the glasses that Bill and I bought them.
I think these guys were a little nervous I was going to fall on them. But I'm a well seasoned drunk. I rarely fall down. I always find the nearest wall to hold me up.Fairly soon after this I staggered out to the car with Bill Bill carried me out Bill and I left I don't really remember what the hell happened...


Mr Farty said...

I see what you mean about the Great Getzby, nice!

Also, would I be showing my feminine side if I said those coconut bras look really uncomfortable?

Hairslave 24/7 said...

A wall may hold you up most of the time, but you have been known to slide a bit...

another awesome post btw!

PETE said...

Of course you really like the picture with your tongue sticking out. It's your favorite threesome -- you, Bill and a drink (not in any particular order!) Also, I must say you have quite an eye for the photos and, apparently, LOTS of time to scour them to find the one with your shoes. I certainly haven't looked at them that carefully!

Laurie said...

Mr Farty - They looked really uncomfortable in person, too, but at least the dancers were definitely not going to flash anybody.

David - But remember that when I slid under the chair I didn't spill a drop of my Long Island. AND I was in the middle of the room with no accessible wall.

Pete - Bill definitely comes first, although I've known drink longer. It's called insomnia. And of course you wouldn't notice my shoes. You're a guy! Did you notice that the shoes in front were yours?

Kia said...

This post made shed tears of laughter...

BOSSY said...

William: totally cute. Cute ute ute. Looks like a fun time.