Saturday, December 20, 2008

On misanthropy II

In a previous post I talked about how much I like to be alone.

This may be one reason why I've never had very many friends. Wherever I've lived, I've only had at most 3 really good friends at one time - sometimes just one or two. My son and Bill's daughter live for friends - especially Bill's daughter. She seems to think that the reason for going off to college is to make new friends. Hopefully in her case, some non-Christian ones, although that seems doubtful. The easiest place to find friends is apparently church. Especially when you need friends to help reinforce the supernatural bullshit they're feeding you. I always thought the reason for going off to college was to learn enough to eventually be able to get a good job.

I just don't understand the need for lots of friends, because I just don't have a need for lots of friends. It's a foreign concept to me.

The number of friends prior to high school with whom I have kept in contact

High school
One. My ex-husband, David. And honestly, although I'm very fond of him, we probably would have drifted apart if it weren't for William.

College (B.S.)
None. Never made any friends.

Job during college
Two. Claire and Carol, the husband and wife for whom I worked, although I haven't seen them since my wedding. They actually went to both my weddings.

First job after college
One. Noel, although I haven't seen her since my wedding, either.

Graduate school (M.S.)
One. Kia. We keep in contact mainly via our blogs, although I have invited her to come skiing/boarding sometime...After January when the kids are all back in school and we have extra rooms would be good.

Graduate school (MBA)
None. Never made any.

State career
Several, but only two really good friends. M and M (I have three friends M. You might notice there isn't another name starting with M here. Some names have been changed to protect the innocent). UPDATE: I guess I should probably include Bill here. Oops.

Not quite random
Pete, because he has been David's significant other for 15 years and helped raise our son. And he's a really great guy.
I was just talking with Bill about the fact that I have a couple of friends that I worry about more than I worry about the kids.

Although some people might not agree, I am very much an introvert. I was one of those kids in school who was sometimes labeled "stuck up" because I was too shy to talk to many people. I've learned to be much more outgoing over the years, but I can still suddenly become awkward, even with friends. Some situations are stressful enough that I become physically ill later, although it took me years to connect the dots.

I find being in groups of people to be very stressful, sometimes even if I know some of the people. Bill and I went to a birthday party for the 1 year old child of a friend of ours (Ok, she's not on the list but we don't see her very often now that we don't work with her). There were lots of people there - mostly her relatives, and when we got home I said, "Whew. Well that was stressful, wasn't it?" Bill said,"No, not really. Why?" Hmm. Maybe it's just me. Booze helps.

Another time (eons ago) I had just gotten my first job after college, and David, William (then two) and I went to the holiday party. We were all leaning against the wall in a row, and as one of my new coworkers walked by, she exclaimed,"Look! A whole family of wallflowers!"

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