Saturday, January 31, 2009

A Gay Hula - part deux. In which I get really drunk and feel myself up.

I'm doing a second, hopefully happier post on David and Pete's wedding, because my last one apparently made everybody cry. These photos are much better because they were taken by a professional photographer AND they include pictures of ME!

But first an action shot of David and Pete jumping the broom: And William making David cryI wasn't too drunk yet. Only one gin and tonic.
But I soon made my way back to Surfer Willy's Tiki Hut. Oh, look. The nice photographer cut off half my butt. Always a good thing, in my opinion.
Oh. She got all of it here.This is exactly the reason I wore a slip. You never know when a shaft of sunlight might reveal all. Sort of like when I found lice on William's head. But that's another story.

Mmmm. Zombie. I actually like this photo a lot, even though I'm sticking my tongue out. In my last post, I only showed the guys dancing, but the girls got their chance, too. David and Pete got to dance both the guys AND the girls dance. Well it was their wedding.I had actually thought to myself, "Gee. I didn't get any pictures of my really cute shoes." Luckily the photographer must have thought they were really cute, too! I bet she was jealous.A male photographer would have been more focused on boobs. Especially with all the coconut bras nearby. A straight, non-transvestite male photographer, anyway. Speaking of boobs, it was right around this time that I realized my boobs had fallen out of my bra and were in imminent danger of escaping their confines completely. But it was okay, because the only way anyone would have been able to see was if they were higher up than I was. I peered blearily (hard to peer any other way after two zombies and a gin and tonic) down my dress, stuck a hand in, shifted things around and pulled the bra up on one side, then realizing how this must look, surreptitiously glanced around to see if anyone had noticed me fondling myself. Nobody was staring at me in shock and horror, so I quickly groped readjusted the other side.

This prompted another foray to Surfer Willy's. The purse is hiding my big butt. Unfortunately, it isn't hiding my back.

When I came back, I didn't realize Surfer Willy and his girlfriend followed and sat right behind me. Actually this was probably the time my boobs were making their attempt for freedom, and neither William nor his girlfriend said anything! You'd think he could have said something like, "Mom, XYB (Examine your boobs)", or "Mom, do you know your boobs are showing?" to which I would have had to reply, "No, but if you hum a few bars I can fake it." But no. He was probably just completely embarrassed that his sloshed mother was going around flashing people. I think if I had just worn coconuts it would have been less revealing. NOTE: NO I AM NOT ABOUT TO GROPE MYSELF IN THAT PHOTO. I'm reaching across to take a picture. Perverts.
Cute guys talking to David's mother Betty. Sorry girls and other guys. These outrageously cute guys are married. To each other.
Gratuitous William photos:Surfer WillyHe's going to make a great bartender some day.
William factoid: He has always exhibited more than a passing resemblance to Shaggy. For a 4-H costume contest, I once made a Scooby-do costume for his pony, Howdy, and we just put a green t-shirt on William and told him to walk like he normally does, and they won first place. We did have to draw the scraggly beard on back then. Not anymore. (He and Twister won first place the next year as Harry Potter and Fluffy the three-headed dog (William was Harry Potter. In case you were wondering). I make kick-ass horse costumes. Unfortunately it isn't really a marketable skill)

Gratuitous Buddha photos:
Buddha happy!Buddha disappointed
William giving the toast.I think William could give Bossy's son a run for his money. But I'm probably biased.
David and Pete toasted with the glasses that Bill and I bought them.
I think these guys were a little nervous I was going to fall on them. But I'm a well seasoned drunk. I rarely fall down. I always find the nearest wall to hold me up.Fairly soon after this I staggered out to the car with Bill Bill carried me out Bill and I left I don't really remember what the hell happened...

Saturday, January 24, 2009

A Gay Hula!

Gay in every sense of the word. David and Pete were married last Sunday! In a beautiful ceremony presided over by their good friend Dee.

They had a Hawaiian wedding - sans Hawaii. Our son was the best man AND bartender. Surfer Willy's Tiki Hut was set up in the living room. There was even a frozen drink machine that dispensed virgin Strawberry Daiquiris and non-virgin Rum Runners. A float of Captain Morgan Tattoo extra dark rum on a Rum Runner turned it into a Zombie, which in turn turned me into a zombie, which is why most of these photos are very slightly out of focus. (UPDATE: In looking at someone else's photos, the dark rum was actually Whaler's)

Bill trying to hold the two other best men, Homer and Buddha, still for a photo op. What a handsome dude!Another handsome dude.And there's yet another handsome dude with a beautiful dudette.The ceremonyDee included aspects of various cultures in the ceremony. She had them taste the four elements, and William recited a Native American poem while Dee played a Native American flute. She spoke eloquently about gay rights, human rights, and reminded everyone that it wasn't that long ago that African Americans in this country couldn't marry who they wished. Then David and Pete jumped the broom!
Mothers of the grooms. Both bawling. Which made me start. Sheesh. Did anyone else notice their dresses have exactly the same design, just in different colors and upside-down?

The wedding party The wedding party plus parentsAnd another photo of Buddha because he's so goshdarn ugly photogenic cute adorable. And how many other husbands would go to the wedding of his wife's ex-husband and his partner and give a congratulatory hug to both the grooms. (I think he's secretly really happy that David being gay meant I was can just leave me in my own little fantasy world)

This handsome dude seems to make the rounds with all the gorgeous dudettes. Ok, this gorgeous dudette happens to be his girlfriend.Woah, bright dudes!Cool dude and another stunning dudette aka Bill's kids.Best friend dudes.Then the hula dancing began:

Pete played the conch shell to start the festivities, Don Ho started playing the drums, and hula dancers came out - trapping Pete! You can see him thinking,"Oh, crap! How do I get out of here now?" Ok, he may not be Don Ho, but he did sing Tiny Bubbles and Hukilau...
Oh, look! There's Buddha againThen it was time for others to learn how:Getting a little more into it:Here's a better view:
She is totally flirting with PeteNice coconuts!

Then they showed us how it's really done:
After the dancers were done, my son gave the toast:

I wanted to get up here and tell you that my father has always been there for me...but that's not true. The truth is that both my fathers have always been there for me.

As long as I can remember, Pete has been there helping my father...and my mother...raise me, and get me where I am headed.

That is why I couldn't have been happier when I found out...through a text message, I might add...that they were finally tying the knot.

I know that you have brought each other and the people around you happiness for 16 years. Here's to many more. I love you both.
Talk about tears.

It was all too much for this tired dude.