100 things about me

1. My feet are so ticklish, I can't even touch them sometimes. Seriously. Don't even try unless you like being kicked in the teeth.

2. My husband, Bill, is 15 years older than I am.

3. But his kid's ages bracket my son's age.

4. I have the worlds worst memory.

5. I was once pissed on by a lion.

6. I have met several other people who were pissed on by lions, so it's apparently not that uncommon.

7. I did not think it was funny at the time, but my mother almost died laughing.

8. I have never believed in a god.

9. Any of them.

10. I vaguely remember believing in Heaven — sort of the same way I believed in Santa Clause — until I was about 7 and someone told me that non-human animals don't go to Heaven. Then I decided it wasn't anywhere I would like to go, anyway.

11. This was right around the time I was pissed on by the lion, but I don't think the two were related.

12. One reason I became a fisheries biologist was because my father used to take me fishing. He let me gut the fish so I could cut open their stomachs and see what they had been eating.

13. Another reason was that I started out as an Animal Science major in college, and was wrestling with a sheep in Ani Sci 101. Sheep stink.

14. I decided to change my major and went through the catalog alphabetically. I made it all the way through to W and found Wildlife and Fisheries Biology, and the rest is history.

15. I married my high school sweetheart, David.

16. Anybody who's read this blog a while knows that he turned out to be gay.

17. Actually, he's one of my four readers, and I'm pretty sure he knows he's gay, since he married his partner of 16 years.

18. I've had to have my appendix and my gall bladder removed. I'm running out of extraneous organs.

19. I used to get really awful stomach gripes, and then come up in hives all over my entire body.

20. The doctor thought that it was systemic mastocytosis, but the only way to tell for sure was to biopsy one of the hives the next time it happened.

21. I haven't had hives since.

22. I still get the stomach problems, and the doctors can't find anything.

23. Both Bill and David used to be avid comic book collectors.

24. I have a skull collection.

25. Pseudoscience of any kind irritates the hell out of me. This includes, but is not limited to; astrology, homeopathy, phrenology, acupuncture, anything to do with the paranormal, chiropractic, crystal healing, magnetic therapy, intelligent design/creation "science," therapeutic touch - they are all bullshit. The list goes on. And on.

26. Intelligent falling, and the terrible threat of Dihydrogen Monoxide (DHMO) however, are real. I was appalled to find out that DHMO is even an additive found in my tea, and I drink gallons of that!

27. I was born in England.

28. All my relatives except my immediate family and two cousins live in England.

29. I was a resident alien for over 30 years.

30. I got my US citizenship in 2000 because I wanted to be able to vote.

31. Lotta good THAT did.

32. I have three college degrees.

33. I only really use two of them.

34. They look impressive on the wall, though.

35. I have oligodontia - I was born without eight teeth, including my wisdom teeth.

36. I think I passed this on to my son, but I don't remember (see #4)

37. I've always joked that I am just more highly evolved.

38. I hate milk. It is only acceptable in tea, and sometimes on cereal. It also usually contains DHMO (see #26).

39. I had to drink it while I was pregnant, though. I hope my son REALIZES THE SACRIFICE I MADE FOR HIM!

40. I also don't like many other dairy products very much, such as yogurt and ice cream. No, I don't think I have lactose intolerance - I've tried cutting it all out, and still get the gastrointestinal problems. I just don't like them.

41. Many people don't have a problem with my disbelief in a god, but they think that not liking ice cream is just UNNATURAL.

42. One way I will eat ice cream: smother vanilla ice cream with hot fudge, raspberry sauce, and put it all on top of warm chocolate cake. With a cherry on top.

43. Contrary to everything I just said about dairy products, I love all kinds of cheese.

44. I hate clowns.

45. But I like mimes. The mention of Shields and Yarnell brings back fond memories. Of Laugh In. Even though they were never on Laugh In.

46. I may have a terrible memory (see #4 again), but I can remember everything that ever happened to Ross and Demelza Poldark.

47. I've lived in California all except two years since 1979, and I've felt quite a few earthquakes, including a several fairly large ones.

48. Bill has lived here for about 56 years, and he's never felt one. Does that count? It isn't really about me.

49. I've also lived in tornado prone areas (twice). I'll take an earthquake over a tornado any day.

50. During my time in Texas, I experienced a couple of tropical storms and a "mini" hurricane (it blew up off the coast of Texas with hurricane force winds, but it was very small and didn't even get a name). Hurricanes spawn tornadoes, therefore I'll take an earthquake over a hurricane any day, too.

51. Speaking of tropical storms, I'll have to do another post about the time one hit while my parents were away, and I brought the horses out of belly-deep water and into the garage. My mare, Najmah, then broke through the back door into the house. Twice.

52. I'm the worlds worst slob. Seriously. Oscar Madison is my hero. Dirt and filth, piles of clothes, boxes, etc. - it just doesn't bother me. When I lived alone, I was fine as long as there was a fairly clear path through the crap on the floor. I would wash the dishes, sometimes even before they started growing mold.

53. Luckily for me, Bill is slightly obsessive-compulsive the other way. He just follows along behind me, picking up.

54. The older I get the more Monk-like I become. I'm talking Adrian Monk, not the religious kind. THAT would be a nun. I think. But I'm not religious, so I'm not really up on whether there are female monks. Maybe female Buddhist monks. But I digress.

55. Bill wishes I would be more OCD about cleaning the house, and not wander around leaving a trail of papers and articles of clothing, but my Monk-like behaviour only seems to apply to germs.

56. Almost anything you say can and does remind me of a show tune.

57. Does anybody else go around with music constantly playing in their head? And no iPod or Walkman, or whatever? I don't need one.

58. Right now? Caravan (Duke Ellington).

59. Sometimes I have trouble concentrating on anything if there is music playing in the background. All I can hear is the music.

60. I'm one of THOSE people who walks through the supermarket singing along with the Muzak. Out loud.

61. I am an extreme introvert. I have to work hard all the time to overcome it. I am the awkward moment queen.

62. This also means that I generally avoid controversy.

63. Unless I'm right. Which I always am. Bill still hasn't learned this.

64. Controversy avoidance is why I have generally stayed in the atheist closet until I get to know people a little.

65. Because I was so shy, I, of course, was labeled "stuck up" in school.

66. I'm fiercely loyal to my friends.

67. I used to read books constantly.

68. Then my son got a new computer and I got his old laptop and discovered blogs. Now all I do is read blogs, (sometimes) write blog posts, peruse Facebook, and Twitter. I don't have time for actual books.

69. When I was young, one of my favourite books was Lad: A Dog. The first dog I got when I moved out on my own was a collie.

70. My favourite books of all time are the Tolkien trilogy. I've read them numerous times - the first when I was nine.

71. I used to have a cat named Mink who was a slightly pinkish color. Her nicknames over the years were: Pinky Minky, Sinky Minky (she sat in the sink a lot), and Stinky Minky. My father called her Scrut.

72. Music in my head right now? Turk Murphy - Trombone Rag.

73. I switch between English and American spellings, usually depending upon to whom I am writing.

74. Even more entertaining for my friends - I occasionally switch between English and American accents without realizing. People used to frequently ask if I was Canadian. Not as much nowadays.

75. I had a really weird accent when I lived in Texas. One of my best friends had the same accent, as his mother was from England, too.

76. I have an extremely bad temper.

77. My temper is usually short lived, though.

78. On my first date, I went to The Muppet Movie. With the guy in #74. His mother drove.

79. I have an irrational fear of spiders. Ticks are included, but I don't consider that irrational.

80. However, I won't let anyone kill a spider in the house. They have to be put outside.

81. I once shared the shower with an enormous wolf spider, and didn't condition my hair for several days because she was hiding behind the conditioner bottle. I knew that if I moved the bottle, she would jump. I finally started worrying that she would starve to death if she stayed there, so I moved the bottle. She jumped, and I screamed (several times) as I put a (large) glass over her and put her outside.

82. I actually don't like to kill anything. I feel that all life is precious (except perhaps insects such as ants, flies or mosquitoes that invade my space).

83. I am not a vegetarian, so I guess this means I'm also a hypocrite.

84. I've only had three long-term boyfriends, two of whom I married.

85. I've only had four boyfriends.

86. About 5 years ago, I dislocated and broke the little finger of my left hand so that it stuck out sideways at a 90 degree angle. It has never been the same since. And never completely stopped hurting.

87. This has made me realize that I could fairly easily do something that could cripple me for life, so I probably don't take as many risks skiing, with horses, bike riding etc., as I might have otherwise.

88. I was pissed that the hospital wouldn't let me keep the x-rays, because they were really cool.

89. Did I already say I have a bad memory?

90. I like the smell of skunk.

91. I don't like the smell of lavender.

92. I think Best In Show was one of the funniest movies ever made, but most of my friends vehemently disagree.

93. The other funny ones are: Monty Python and the Holy Grail, The Princess Bride, History of the World: Part 1, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and A Mighty Wind.

94. The funniest, of course, was Young Frankenstein. Damn your eyes! Too late.

95. I love Sci Fi. TV and books. It all started with Star Trek reruns and Star Blazers.

96. Does anyone reading this (if you actually made it this far) not know that I play the bassoon?

97. I can't decide between Rose's Mango or Pomegranate martini mix. Pomegranate, I think.

98. My attitude is that we only have one life to live, and it is VERY fragile, so we might as well make the best of it.

99. It took me over a month to write this. On and off. Mostly off.

100. Current song in my head: The theme to NCIS. Oh, wait. Bill turned on the TV.

Go to your chiropractor to protect yourself FROM SWINE FLU???!

I found a link to this article on Planet Chiropractic.com on the James Randi website. I'm really hoping it's a farce, but I'm afraid that's just wishful thinking. The article indicates that if you're adjusted twice a week, your immune system will be "boosted by 400%! Sounds good, except there is no scientific evidence for this whatsoever. The only thing that will be boosted will the the chiropractor's pocket book.

I can't believe that people actually BELIEVE this crap! Bullshit like this just make me see red. The only reason to go to a chiropractor is for a good massage, which can also be gotten via a good physiotherapist. These people are just stealing your money. The only thing listed in the article that will actually help protect you from swine flu is washing your hands.
/rant

Cold "remedies"

I had an argument with someone at work the other day. She and I were both just getting over colds. She was telling me how much this Airborne stuff works. I told her that there is absolutely no scientific evidence that it did diddly-squat. She told me that she didn't care. She thinks it works and that’s all that matters. I pointed out that both she AND her husband have colds at the moment, so...how exactly did it work? She said, "Oh, we must have taken it too late." Riiiiiight. Maybe you have colds because IT DOESN’T WORK!

Another coworker takes it because his wife makes him. His wife's logic (or lack thereof) is that she is a teacher and Airborne was created by a teacher so it must work. Riiiiiight. If these so-called cold remedies actually did something (significantly shorten or prevent the common cold, for instance) wouldn't doctors be singing their praises, and doling them out like candy? They would be handed out along with your flu shot. They would be given out in hospital emergency rooms.

ABC News did a story on Airborne in February of 2006.

According to the story, Airborne conducted its own clinical study that showed it was effective in preventing colds. ABC News learned that there were no scientists, no doctors, and no actual clinic involved in the study, and yet Airborne insists the results are valid.

The company removed all references to the study from its website and packaging, but not because of the bad publicity. "We found that it confused consumers," Elise Donahue, Airborne's CEO said. "Consumers are really not scientifically minded enough to be able to understand a clinical study." How nice of her. Translation: She thinks consumers are pretty stupid, but she’s looking out for us. The reality was that her one “study” that "showed it works" was done by a couple of local yokels, at least one of whom apparently lied about having a college degree. I think that consumers can easily understand FRAUD.

As Dr. Dean Edell always says, people believe that the last thing they did or took was was what made them better, but they were most likely just getting better anyway. The body will do that. If you want to reduce your chances of getting a cold, washing your hands frequently is far more effective, and not nearly as expensive.


Airborne contains among other things, Vitamin C, Echinacea, and zinc.
Next up: Vitamin C

Doggie Acupuncture?

Acupuncture is one of those things that people swear by. It is also one of those things for which it is virtually impossible to design a proper double blind study. People tend to know when they are getting stuck with needles, and the people who are sticking them know, too. Scientific studies have never shown acupuncture to be effective against any physical disease; it has only been shown that it may work for things like pain and nausea where the power of suggestion can affect people's perceptions. Sticking needles in people also probably does trigger the release of endorphins, although I can think of less intrusive ways to do that. Many acupuncture studies show that "sham" acupuncture, where the needles don't penetrate the skin do just as well as real acupuncture. The benefits are no better than the placebo effect. I'm not even going to go into the metaphysical Qi bullshit.

I got this information from the National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine website: "The FDA requires that sterile, nontoxic needles be used." Well, there's a relief. I was really worried about people using toxic needles. However, "when not delivered properly, acupuncture can cause serious adverse effects, including infections and punctured organs." I think I'll opt for the sham procedure. May I be in the control group, please? I bet if a sham acupuncture clinic opened, it would have people who would swear by that, too. Maybe I'll open one. Unfortunately, I'm sure my skepticism would show, and of course it wouldn't work. I would have to believe! to properly convince others.


Archie McPhee sells a dog acupuncture model, and if Archie McPhee sells it, it must work! They are well known as a place to get air fresheners that smell like steak, gummy tapeworms, and devil rubber duckies. They also have acupuncture models for cows, cats, and pigs. What about rabbits, I wonder? And what if you have a pug instead of a German shepherd? The pug is just SOL, I guess. By the way, I also found this model being sold on real veterinary medical supply sites.

I know someone with a PhD who actually takes his elderly dog to a "holistic" vet to get acupuncture. He swears that the dog feels better afterward. Hmm. How about THIS scenario instead:

The dog is a little stiff getting up (he is 14 after all). The person says to the dog,"Oh, poor Bowser (not his real name). Do you feel bad?" Bowser, being a border collie, is not stupid and knows how to get sympathy. He looks sad, and in doggie body language says, "Oh, yes. I feel bad. :-(," and possibly starts limping or just walking stiffly. He probably really is somewhat stiff. So he gets more sympathy.

Side note: When my parents were first married, they had a border collie who cut his foot badly on a piece of glass. For YEARS afterward, all you had to say was,"Gammon, how's your poor paw?" and Gammon would look sad and start limping - just to get sympathy - because it was obvious that his paw didn't hurt at all anymore. I think he eventually even forgot which paw was supposed to be sore and limped on the wrong one occasionally.

When the person takes this dog to get acupuncture, Bowser is petted and made a fuss of, and when he comes out, the owner says (in an excited voice),"Bowser! Do you feel better??" and of course Bowser is going to get excited and his body language will say,"Yes! I feel so much better!" Wag, wag, wriggle. As would any dog who wants to please. He just got a trip in the car and a good pet.

Border collies are smart, but I'm sure most dogs can bamboozle their owners. And human charlatans are always more than willing to fleece people who love their pets.