Wednesday, April 9, 2008

My bearma ate your dogma

I used to work with a rabidly Republican young scientist who I'll call George, although his real name is Andy. Anyway, An...I mean George, is an enthusiastic outdoorsman and hunter - and Bush supporter. He seems to have a blind spot when it comes to Bush idiocy, although he probably thinks I have a blind spot when it comes to Bush brilliance.

My husband Bill is 58, and leans so far to the left it's a wonder he doesn't fall over sometimes. He always has. I, of course, also lean a long way left, but am young enough to keep my balance...I only fall occasionally while skiing. Or walking sometimes. Definitely while roller blading, unlike some people...but I digress.

For some reason, even though we were at opposite ends of the political scale, and I don't even like to kill ants, Andy....George and I got along like a house on fire. One of the things we had in common was the HBO series Deadwood, although it irritated Andy because he watched it in realtime, while we only watch shows on DVD, so we were always a season behind him. I mean George. I'd come into work and say things like, "Well, surprisingly, nobody was fed to Mr. Wu's pigs on the episode we watched last night" or "McCall killed Wild Bill Hickok last night*," and Andy would be able to guess the episode.

One day, we were talking about our respective spouses, and Andy declared that all he would have to do would be to take Bill deer hunting** with him for a few days and he could convert him into a Republican.

When I relayed this to Bill, he stated that what would actually happen would be that he would come staggering out of the woods a day or so later yelling, "A bear killed Andy! A bear killed Andy! It was horrible! I tried, but I couldn't stop it! The bear couldn't take him spouting Republican dogma anymore and it beat him to death with a tree branch!"***

Andy thought that was hilarious. That's why we got along so well.

*Not giving anything away. You knew that had to happen.
**Bill would NEVER hunt, by the way, although he does kill ants. Someone around here has to sometimes.
***See why I married him? I try not to tell him I think he's funny, though. It just encourages him.


Brother Phil said...

I once ate a whole bag of Doritos.

Laurie said...

Only once? Riiiiight.